am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Help. Why am I so naked?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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