doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
People in love make me want to vomit
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
