At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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