The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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