mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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