I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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