did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize