So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i've created a new STD.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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