I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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