he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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