cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How external is "for external use only"?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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