I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
