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apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
