honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
