Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
