her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize