i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
