But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
