OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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