I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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