Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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