On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
