I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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