Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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