never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
