Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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