Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
