it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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