I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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