Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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