but the lizard people decide everything anyway
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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