Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
