A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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