Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The power of my boobs compel you
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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