evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
