I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
