Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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