Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There r osticjed everywhere
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So much rum. So many feels.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
