I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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