do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
