How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
