Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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