What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
