well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
