Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
