After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
