Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
