We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sorry about my life...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
