Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
