if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
