Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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