hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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