I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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