dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
