Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize