I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
