i already hear my dad disowning me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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